Thinking about harm happening to our children or to any child brings up very normal feelings of worry and helplessness. The news certainly doesn’t help as we hear constant reports of frightening events.
But worrying does not make us safer, it just makes us more anxious. When young people see their adults feeling distress, this can cause them to feel anxious as well. Modeling being resilient in the face of trouble can have a positive impact on our children’s well-being.
While we can’t give our kids a perfect world, we CAN give them the knowledge and skills that will help them be safe and thrive. As adults, we can work as child protection advocates to create cultures of safety in our families, schools, and communities.
How we can protect and empower our kids
Written by Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder & Executive Director, Kidpower International
Together, we can protect the children, teens, and other vulnerable people in our lives from harm – and empower them with knowledge and skills for taking charge of their own well-being.
Too often, kids and adults struggle with their problems alone because they believe that their adults are too busy or will be upset if they ask for help.
The Kidpower Protection Promise grew out of our years of coaching adults to be very specific in making sure kids know they care, no matter what.
Take one minute to watch this inspiring and moving Kidpower Protection Promise video. Then, print, post, share, and discuss our FREE posters.
YES, you can teach children of any age skills to help them be safe from harm including abuse, abduction, and assault – without scaring them or giving them upsetting information about possible danger.
Start with these 3 Child Protection Lessons from our best-selling book Doing Right by Our Kids, which uses a “safety at all levels” approach showing how to apply Kidpower skills, strategies, and values as well as other best practices to protect young people at home, with friends and family, at school, in sports and recreational activities, at college, and from harmful social issues such as prejudice.
The topics addressed in the 3 Child Protection Lessons are:
- “How can I keep my baby safe?” – including 5 behaviors that should instantly raise red flags for you
- “My child is being steamrolled by the system!”
- Let Us Listen: A powerful message from a spiritual leader about child safety
For more skills to use yourself and practice with kids, see our Kidpower Emotional Safety Skills for All Ages
Parents, educators, and other caring adults around the world are downloading and using the Kidpower 30-Skills Coaching Handbook, which is available in English, Spanish, and other languages. This step-by-step teaching tool provides vital ‘People Safety Skills” that prepare children and teens to take charge of their emotional and physical safety, increase their confidence, and develop healthy relationships.
Please teach these skills yourself and share the link with your personal and professional networks.
Message from Kidpower Founder/ED Irene van der Zande:
Many years ago, I was teaching a child protection workshop for about 100 parents after there had been a case of abuse in their community. One mother raised her hand and said plaintively, “I am so TIRED of being afraid! WHEN can I stop being worried about the safety of my daughter?”
I smiled sympathetically and asked, ‘How old is your child?”
The mother sighed and said, “Three!”
“Oh, dear!” I replied, “Guess what? My kids are adults, and I still worry about them. And my mother is in her eighties, and she STILL worries about me!”
Everyone in the room nodded their heads with great empathy as the mother asked, “How do you BEAR it?”
It was my turn to sigh as I admitted, “Sometimes it is hard. But constantly worrying just makes us miserable and steals our joy in life without making anyone safer.”
And then I continued, “What has worked for me is to be at peace with accepting uncertainty because some things are out of our control. Doing this frees me to find joy in what is good in my life and in our world – and allows me to focus on what I CAN do to make a positive difference. The skills that we teach in Kidpower truly can protect our kids and ourselves most of the time.” The mother thanked me and then we went on with our class.
A key child protection skill is knowing what to do if a child comes to you for help. Our article What to Do If A Child Reports Possible Abuse, Bullying, Harassment, or Anything Else That Bothers Them provides 7 practical steps that adults can take to support them.
Over and over, parents and teachers, and other caring adults tell us, “Every new tragedy in the news breaks my heart. How can I take care of my own feelings while protecting my kids?”
It is normal to have overwhelming feelings or grief in the face of news about tragedies caused by violence, natural disasters, or accidents – and we deserve support for these feelings. At the same time, we need to avoid getting immersed in despair so that we can focus on what we need to do to protect the well being of our kids and our loved ones.
When young people see their adults feeling hopeless and helpless, this can cause them tremendous panic, stress, and anxiety. How we model being powerful and resilient in the face of trouble can have a huge and positive impact on their long-term well-being.
Here are 3 ways you can get support for your feelings in the aftermath of a tragedy:
- Stay aware of what you say within earshot of kids
- Get help if you are feeling anxious or depressed
- Live your life to the fullest while taking charge of what IS under your control
No matter where we live, sometimes our sense of security can become overwhelmed by news of frightening threats of violence – and by tragic acts of violence. When this happens, it’s time to take extra steps to protect the emotional and physical safety of our children — and of ourselves.
Kidpower’s Founding Principle is that the safety and well-being of each person are more important than anyone’s embarrassment, inconvenience, or offense, including our own.
Instead of letting our actions be based on fear of upset, discomfort, or disappointment, we can choose to ‘Put Safety FIRST’ for ourselves and, especially, for our children.
To protect our children and ourselves from harm, we can:
- Create emotional safety.
- Stay away from trouble.
- Focus on what we CAN do.
>> Read the full article to learn more about how to follow these recommendations.
Please also read and share these articles with your friends, colleagues, and community:
Advocacy and boundary-setting skills are powerful safety skills at any age. They help people be safer from bullying, abuse, intimate partner violence, and other harm – and they also strengthen relationships of all kinds.
One of the best ways to teach kids advocacy and boundary-setting skills – including how to express and withdraw consent – is to use them yourself. When you model how to use these skills every day, in all types of communication, young people in your life will see firsthand how they work.
Use these resources to get started – and see our Relationship Skills page for more!
